


vanish when no one's around

by nosecoffee



Series: kids are still depressed when you dress them up [2]
Category: Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson
Genre: A Dude With A Giant Knife, A Literal Acorn, Comedy, Drabble, Evan makes some bad decisions, Everybody Lives/Nobody Dies, Humour, M/M, Mild Angst, Mild Injury, New Conspiracy: Connor didn't finish the milk, Pining, Pre-Relationship, Spiderman AU, Superheros, The Author Regrets Nothing, mild pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-13
Updated: 2017-10-13
Packaged: 2019-01-16 16:04:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,514
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12346008
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nosecoffee/pseuds/nosecoffee
Summary: Jared says he's gonna get mugged. Alana keeps shrugging at him and saying the best way to meet the vigilante is to get into danger, although she doesn't condone it, and she won't be quoted on it.Connor straight up tells Evan he shouldn't endanger himself like that. He full on takes him by the hands, and makes Evan promise not to go looking for danger. Evan promises.And Evan goes looking for danger.(Or, Evan falls out of a tree and Spiderman is a little late to catch him)





	vanish when no one's around

**Author's Note:**

> Title from "Thin Air" from Amélie
> 
> This ones been on my mind for a while now. Hope you enjoy!

Evan sees the ad on the news. Evan's already kind of obsessed with the vigilante webbing around their city since the old mill bridge went down in a face off that was only barely caught on a couple of people's blurry phone cameras.

So when the local news outlet advertises a large sum of money for pictures of the hero they're calling Spiderman, Evan decides to take them up on the offer. He digs through his closet until he finds his collection of neglected gifts that his father stopped sending for Christmas and his birthday.

And he pulls out the expensive camera he hadn't thought much of at age fourteen.

Evan figures any more money that can help him through college is a good thing. So, he's hooked.

Evan finds himself walking into alleys and sitting in parks and going downtown at night, just on the off chance that he'll see the masked hero, but to no avail. Jared says he's gonna get mugged. Alana keeps shrugging at him and saying the best way to meet the vigilante is to get into danger, although she doesn't condone it, and she won't be quoted on it.

Connor straight up tells Evan he shouldn't endanger himself like that. He full on takes him by the hands, and makes Evan promise not to go looking for danger. Evan promises. (Evan trusts Connor with his life - after all the heroic things Connor's done, how could not? - and he should listen, because Connor's right, he'll just get hurt if he keeps going on this way.)

And Evan goes looking for danger.

Evan's pretty sure he's not gonna get a break, and is sitting in a tree out by the lake after school, one day, camera looped around his neck, when there's a crashing noise.

He swivels and sees Spiderman pinned to the giant metal letters near the edge of the lake that spell out "COMMUNITY" by a guy with a giant knife. Evan stares for a second and then goes to turn on his camera, realising that if Spiderman moves he'll have missed his chance.

Evan clicks a bunch of hi-def, close up pictures, at different angles when he realises that Spiderman isn't struggling as much as before. In fact, he's going a little limp, not shouting as much. Evan realises that he's not bluffing, that he's actually getting beaten. That the guy in the balaclava who dropped his giant knife is actually choking Spiderman to death.

Evan does the only thing he can think of. He plucks an acorn off a branch and hurls it at the knife dude. It hits him right against his temple and he releases one hand from Spiderman's throat with an "ow" that's just loud enough for Evan to hear. He turns to look at Evan who feels frozen with fear, but he hasn't released Spiderman entirely yet. Evan tosses another acorn, this one hitting him right between the eyes. Evan did always have amazing aim. "H-hey!" Evan yells. "Stop being a d-dick!'

Knife dude finally lets Spiderman go, stooping down to get his giant knife, and beginning to stalk up to the tree.

Evan realises what this means, and begins to scramble further up.

Spiderman is on his knees by the giant letters, grasping at his throat and coughing.

Knife dude straps the knife to his back (where in gods name do you get a scabbard that big? Though, that also begs the question "where do you get a knife that big?") and begins to climb the tree.

Evan climbs higher and hears the creaking of branches the further up he goes. They're getting thinner and thinner. He's being chased by a maniac with the biggest steak knife he's ever seen and he's got nowhere left to run.

And Spiderman is still recovering.

Oh, god, he's gonna die. Evan didn't really think this'd be the end.

"Help!" He shouts, hoping maybe a Good Samaritan with a really long stick can knock the knife dude out of the tree and maybe save him. Evan is aware of how unlikely that is. "Somebody, please, help me!"

Evan looks down and watches in dismay as the guy in the balaclava gets closer and closer to him.

Suddenly, the tree shakes. Evan barely holds his grip. The knife guy wobbles.

They both look down. Spiderman is at the base of the tree and using webs to pull at the tree and shake it. Not his best technique for saving someone, but Evan will take the risk of maybe falling out of a tree over getting skewered with a giant steak knife by a dude in a balaclava.

Spiderman continues to shake the tree. Eventually a branch snaps under the weight of the knife dude, and he falls, hitting the ground with a heavy thump.

Spiderman quickly ties him up with webs and pulls a phone out of a zipper pocket on his calf to call the police. Evan slowly begins to make his way down the tree.

Spiderman finishes up the call, shoving his phone back in the pocket.

It's really well hidden. Evan wouldn't even have guessed that it was there if-

Almost comically, Evan slips on the stump of the branch that broke under knife dude, falling himself.

He hits the ground harder than the other guy, Evan thinks, and his left arm hurts a lot, but that's not his priority. He checks his camera and finds it without a scratch. He sighs in relief.

"Holy fuck, are you okay?" Says Spiderman, in a kind of familiar voice.

He stoops down and crouches beside Evan and touches his arm. Evan bites his lip, in the vague pain.

"The police are already on their way. They know to get this guy. I'm gonna take you to hospital." Evan doesn't really have time to disagree before Spiderman is helping him to his feet. "Just hang onto me. I'll try not to drop you."

"What?" Evan says, and then Spiderman is webbing onto the waterfront café and they're swinging through the air. Evan tries not to scream, holding onto the smooth material of Spiderman's costume. His arm is solid and tight around Evan's waist.

They swing through the city, high above the cars, practically flying by windows. Evan whoops. It's scary as shit, but he kinda trusts Spiderman not to drop him to his death.

Probably a mistake. But Evan doesn't really care.

They reach the hospital not long after that, touching down, gently on the pavement out front of the emergency room.

Spiderman surveys the sliding doors and looks to Evan. "I think you can take it from here."

"Um, I don't r-really know what's wrong with my arm, though." Evan replies.

"To doesn't look broken." Spiderman replies, and gently takes Evan's arm in his gloved hands. "I can talk to the nurses for you, if you want."

"Really?" And Evan laughs, because the idea is so obscure. "Spider-Spiderman, telling a nurse what's wrong with my arm?"

"Well," Spiderman cocks his head to the side, and his mask stretches a bit at the side, so Evan can almost imagine the person underneath smiling, "I _am_ your friendly neighbourhood Spiderman."

Evan laughs again, and Spiderman releases his arm. "Okay. Yes, th-thank you. Before we go in, can I get a p-picture of you?"

"What?"

"With my camera." Evan clarifies and gestures to the camera, still hung round his neck. "There's a thing, for the news, they want pictures of Spiderman, and there's a lot of m-money on offer for someone who could supply pictures, so yeah."

"Uh," Spiderman rubs the back of his neck, and then nods, "sure, if you want."

Evan takes a bunch of pictures, and Spiderman even kinda poses for him. He takes a kind old selfie with him. It's a little awkward and the picture is kind of blurry, but it's funny.

Spiderman walks him into the emergency room and tells a nurse what happened to his arm. And then he walks out.

Evan's in pain, but he can't help smiling.

~

The pictures are featured on the news. They get Heidi to bring home the cheque, and she and Evan just sit staring at it, in the middle of their dining table, for a while. Jared fistbumps him, at school, the day after the news breaks, and Alana rolls her eyes, but she's obviously impressed.

Connor doesn't say anything, but he does ask how Evan's arm is. So.

Well, he feels bad, of course, but in the end it was all worth it. Connor can be angry all he wants, Evan will feel bad, but he won't be sorry.

~

Evan gets to be angry when Connor pulls the mask off, in his bedroom, in the middle of the night, after a violent and injury-ridden fight, and asks for help, and Evan has to process the fact that his best friend, the boy he's in love with and has been in love with since he moved into town, the boy who's been protecting him relentlessly for months, and years before that, is Spiderman.

 

**Fin.**

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! If you liked this, please leave a comment telling me why you liked, and/or a kudos. Hmu on Tumblr @nose-coffee.
> 
> Again, thanks!


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